Self Care During Graduate School for Counseling Psychology
Even though you’re probably interested in most or at least some of your readings during your counseling psychology program, you’re likely to feel pretty busy. Some weeks may be a bit lighter than others, but on any given week you can expect to be buried under a mountain of readings and possibly some assignments/reflection papers as well. There’s always something to do, something coming up on your to-do list, or something you could be working on. It’s pretty much always going to feel this way.
As I’ve said before and will say again, the key is to treat graduate school like a marathon, not a sprint. That means taking care of your body, mind and “therapeutic instrument” (sense of self) as best you can. You don’t want to wake up in two to three years to realize all of your hobbies and friendships have shriveled up, do you? That means you have to take care of yourself and your life while you are in school. It’s great that graduate school is a high priority for you, but it shouldn’t be your only priority or even your top priority. In my opinion, real life comes first, since you only get one of those.
What are some ways you can prioritize yourself, your hobbies and your closest relationships while still in school?
Here are some ideas that I use in my own life:
I take full day off every single week, typically Saturday or Sunday. I do not do any school work whatsoever on my day off. Instead, I spend the whole day doing just whatever it is that I would like to do. Usually that involves yoga, art, listening to music, errands, housework, cooking, relaxing, reading for pleasure instead of school, going outside, playing video games, watching TV or movies, and catching up with friends and family. You need some time to just be “you” instead of “student you.”
Even on my busiest days I will still take regular breaks. Usually this means at least 30-60 minutes for a full away-from-my-desk lunch break and a 60-90 minute dinner break to cook, eat and catch up with my husband. I do not work while I’m eating - I make a relaxing experience out of it and usually put my feet up to watch a show while I’m eating. This is never a waste of time.
Every morning I do a self-care routine before I get started with school work - brush and floss my teeth, do yoga, write daily pages in my journal, shower, skin care (Sun screen is a must! Every single day, even staying-inside-to-study days! Even during winter! This is a hill I will die on!), and get ready. I do some easy style with my hair, wear a decent outfit that’s not a sweatsuit (although I will definitely change into sweats at the end of the day), and wear a little makeup. It helps me feel centered, professional and ready to do work.
I also do not work past 8pm on a work day if I can possibly help it. After that I just stop worrying about school and leave it for the next day. In the evening, it’s time to do my evening skincare routine, ideally make a batch of popcorn and watch a TV show or movie, hang out with my husband, brush my teeth and read a little (for fun, not school) before bed.
Once a week or so I take time to work on my Hobonichi Cousin planner. I look back on the previous week to see if I missed anything, look forward to what’s coming up in the next week or two and often do a ‘brain dump’ of whatever to-do lists and grocery lists are floating around in my head to get them down on the page.
Once a month I’ll also go over my monthly spread and make sure I’m scheduling fun things into my life. I love the suggestion that every month you should plan the following things: lunch with a friend, 24 hours of no social media, a day spent mostly outside, a night out with friends, a date night with your partner, a breakfast hangout, a movie night, a day totally to yourself, and a day volunteering. I would add a family hangout/video call to this list.
Of course during a pandemic a lot of those suggestions are only possible over video chats or online but it’s still worth trying to schedule regular hangouts with your peeps!
If I really feel a strong urge to take an extra morning off (or whole day off) during the week, even if it’s not my scheduled day off, I will listen to that urge. If I feel like I would rather do art, bake, sing and dance around the house, go for a long walk, go shopping or do something fun with my husband, then I will do that instead. Having fun is so recharging. Stopping once in a while to really ask yourself “what would be really fun right now?” and then doing whatever it is that you come up with is not a waste of time. It’s a way to charge your battery extra full so you can be even more ready to work the next time you do feel like it. It’s a way to make memories for yourself besides just sitting at your desk over the next few years.
What things are fun for me? Making a new sticker, washi tape or stationery design and seeing it come to life! Making art for someone else. Watching YouTube videos about people making art, or cooking, or giving tours of tiny houses. Painting my nails with cute little nail stickers in the shape of tiny foods. Sending mail to my friends and covering the envelope in cute stickers. Walking by the doggy day care near my house and seeing all the cute dogs!
Meal-plan for healthy meals, especially ones that can be made in advance or quickly. I like to keep a lot of prepped and chopped veggies in the fridge for quick salad lunches and snacks, and put a big pot of healthy soup on or something easy in the crock pot/rice cooker for my busiest class days.
Another big one is… therapy! This should come as no surprise but doing personal weekly psychotherapy during your graduate program is strongly recommended and encouraged if it’s at all possible for you. In my program it is not required until we begin our practicum (when we start working with real clients to accrue our hours needed to graduate), but it is strongly recommended to do therapy throughout the entire program. It’s great to have a whole hour a week dedicated to your own self-improvement and self-exploration. Just make sure you find a therapist you actually like!
Some other suggestions from my classmates include tightly scheduling your day by blocking out exactly what you plan to do and when for every hour or half-hour block (a little rigid for me since I usually work by intuition, but really works for some, including my husband!), taking a long bubble bath after finishing classes for the week to let everything wash away and transition into your weekend, taking time for movement (dance, yoga, walking, anything) every day, and meditation.
However you choose to take care of yourself, I hope you don’t end up thinking of it as just another checklist item to complete, or a way to “hack your productivity” so you can just work harder. I hope you remember that what you want and need in your non-school life is also very important. Having fun and being happy in life is important. You have to fill your own “well of self” before you can start giving to others or working hard. Burnout is not fun and when you start noticing the signs within yourself, even if it’s just the beginning stages, I hope you really listen to those inner signals and see if there’s anything you can do to take care of yourself, rearrange how you are dealing with your schedule, and change course.
Remember that in graduate school, many assignments and many of your classes will be pass-fail. You usually only need to give a good skim of your readings rather than an attentive deep-dive. And if you are really behind on an assignment or see a week in your schedule where you have a lot due at once, don’t be afraid to reach out to your professor to ask for an extension or some help. Your school most likely has a writing center that can help you with assignments, so if you think that would be at all helpful you should absolutely take advantage. Just try to go easy on yourself, have realistic expectations, and remember that your real life is equally as important as your academic life.